螃蟹的泡泡

A wealthy man was ordered by his physician to get some rest and relaxation.  He decided to take a vacation in the Bahamas all by himself for a couple of weeks.  He gave his family and everyone else he knew strict instructions not to bother him with any news from home during his trip.

At the end of the two weeks he was picked up at the airport by his friend Simon, and the following conversation ensued:

"Well, Simon, is there any news from home?  You can tell me any little thing, no matter how trifling."

"There was only one thing that happened.  One major thing: Since you've been away your dog died.  Outside of that, there is no news."

"My dog died?  That's too bad.  What killed the dog?"

"The dog ate some burnt horse flesh.  And that's what killed the dog."

"Burnt horse flesh?  Where did he get burnt horse flesh to eat?"

"Well, Charles, your barn burned down.  All the cows and horses got burned up.  After the fire had cooled off, the dog went in to eat some of the burnt horse flesh.  And that's what killed the dog."

"My barn burnt down?  How did the barn catch fire!?"

"The sparks flew over from the house and caught the barn on fire.  After the fire had cooled off, the dog went in to eat some of the burnt horse flesh.  And that's what killed the dog."

"MY HOUSE BURNT DOWN TOO!!?  How did the HOUSE catch fire!!?"

"They had some candles burning in the house.  The candles got too close to the curtains and caught them on fire.  The fire spread to the roof, and sparks flew over to the barn.  The barn burnt down.  After the fire had cooled off, the dog went in to eat some of the burnt horse flesh.  And that's what killed the dog."

"Why the f@#$% did they have candles burning in the first place!!?"

"There were candles all around the coffin."

"COFFIN!!!?  WHO'S DEAD!?"

"Well, your dog died.  That's the worst of it.  But the coffin was for your mother.  And the candles around the coffin started the fire that burnt down the barn.  After the fire had cooled off, the dog went in to eat some of the burnt horse flesh.  And that's what killed the dog."

"MY MOTHER IS DEAD!!!?  WHAT KILLED MY MOTHER!!!?"

"Well, I don't know what killed her.  But around the neighborhood it's rumored that it was from the shock of your wife running off with your butler.  But outside of that, there is no news."